There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i think we sleep fucked last night...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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