this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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