So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
