He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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