I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize