We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
