so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
