That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
