He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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