I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize