between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
