escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
