have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
