between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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