god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize