I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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