It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
