I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
