Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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