i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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