dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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