just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
