I didn't shave. On purpose
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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