Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
