i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
