So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
