what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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