Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
