The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize