I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
