a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
