is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
