ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
