I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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