i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize