What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
