I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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