if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she told me i tasted like america
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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