i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Sext me about skeletons
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize