i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
