All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Even my vagina gasped.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
