I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
