You work out of a Hotel?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
