Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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