At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
