If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
