I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize