people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
