One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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