They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
