I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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