I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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