so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
