That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
