I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
