if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
