dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
