dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
