i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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