What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
