belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Will you blow on my dice?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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