what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
