"it" just moved
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
