singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
