I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
