I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
