Taylor Swift is so right about you.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
