That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
